Artificial Light

Your jokes appall me, they’re so crude

Almost  a year later, a new comic. Wonder how long it’ll be until the next one!

I see you peering through frosted windows

so, it snowed a lot.

also, turns out there is actually a bitters shortage.

thing number three: next time it snows in the dc area, no more “cute” puns like SNOWpocalypse, or SNOWmageddon, or SNOWmygod, or whatever. it’s now just “it’s gonna snow,” or “snow storm.” four feet of snow later, you’re allowed to just say what it is. seriously.

(that’s right, hipsters. irony is out. earnest is now cool.)

oh, and stop throwing snowballs at police officers. i shouldn’t have to tell you that.

*tip o’ the hat to MAC for “Girl-pants.”

You don’t ask all the while

Make sure you brush your ass before you go to sleep! The sad thing is, I’m not convinced that the mouth side would produce any better words.

*Yup. Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-CA), who took his seat over from his dad, Duncan Hunter (whoo, democracy!), said the following:

[T]he military is not civilian life, and I think the folks that have been in the military that have been in these very close situations with each other — there has to be a special bond there, and I think that that bond is broken if you open up to the military to transgenders, to hermaphrodites, to gays and lesbians.

Of course, you know you can’t “special-bond” with no queers. And you certainly can’t “special-bond” while being honest about who you are. That would be crazy!

For the sake of preservation

Sometimes, I wonder if a woman could win a Senate seat if she had posed naked in a magazine. Because I just learned a man can.

But, this all makes a little more sense, though, if you realize that America has battered-wife syndrome.

The sea’s an open sewer, but I really couldn’t care

yeah, it’s my birthday. whoo. in lieu of gifts and wishes of wellness, please send irish whiskey (non-protestant only, please).

You set out to outrage but you can’t get arrested

well, my friends, a happy thanksgiving. may your turkeys be free-range and your sweet potatoes organic.

 

oh, and what’s happening over here?

What could this be?

Something is afoot over at here…

The day they knocked down the palais

this is for the playas.

(yeah, i’m pretty sure that’s the biggest brim on any backwards baseball cap ever.)

Everybody gotta weird sensation

my friends: an update! my goodness!

my friends: it has come to my attention that this humble comick has been around for one year! how exciting!

my friends: so, in the next year, the second year of this humble comick, i promise:

• MORE FREQUENT UPDATES!
• MORE CUSSIN’!
• MORE HATIN’!
• MORE SURLY!
• MORE OBLIQUE POLITICAL REFERENCES!
• MORE OBSCURE INDIE ROCK REFERENCES!
• MORE BARRY!

my friends: let’s make this happen together.

my friends: also, stay tuned for a new secret project, COMING SOON

The sky is blue but there are clouds in my head

i wont’t lie: nick cage was born to play two roles, and one of them was the weatherman.

We’re getting uptight, wanna fight, everybody back bite

They’re pumping up the nation but it’s gonna bust a vein

incidently, i’ve officially discovered that there’s a line from a kinks song about everything.

Arm in arm we sang our patriotic songs

So, yeah, I totally broke my arm. AND I drew this guy with that broken arm. Never question my dedication to comicks-making ever again.

Money can’t cover up the fact you’re getting older every day

Credit where it is due: Sanza-pants was creative force behind the character of Bunnyboss.